Muggle Studies: Karaoke 101
by The Next Hermione Granger
Summary: The seventh years all have to take Muggle Studies, their project : Karaoke.


**A/N: Looky here another Muggle Studies Story. But it could be different who knows?**

**Disclaimer:** **I don't own the lyrics, I don't own the people except Professor Tilston, and I do own the plot. These get so boring after reading and writing them a million times.**

**Muggle Studies: Karaoke 101**

It was seventh year for the Gryffindor Golden Trio. They had just learned that Muggle Studies was now a compulsary course for all seventh years no matter what, and it just so happened that the gryffindors and the Slytherins had the class together.

It was the first Muggle Studies class of the school year and the students were patiently waiting with a building anxiety to meet their new teacher. Just then the door burst open and in popped a man in flamboyant green robes.

"Good day fellow thespians!" he yelled to the class. "And welcome to the first class of Karaoke 101!"

"Karaoke? Sir you can not be serious!" Hermione said with a bewildered tone of voice.

"Yes I am serious, and by the way my name is Professor Tilston, pleased to meet you all!"

"Yah right," Draco Malfoy replied with a snap.

"Well then Mr. I'm- the-king-of-the-world, what is karaoke?"

"Uh-" Malfoy had no idea what the man was talking about and for once he had no comeback to well come back with.

Hermione's hand shot in the air as if it were on fire. Professor Tilston motioned for her to continue Malfoy's pathetic attempt at an answer. "Karaoke is a form of Muggle entertainment when someone or a few people go on to a stage a sing a song, the words to the specified song are played across a screen in front of the performer."

"Correct Miss Granger, 5 points to Gryffindor! Now since we have had that wonderful explanation you all now know that you will be singing karaoke for your first project which starts," the professor looked at his watch, "Now!"

The class let out a gasp, then the professor laughed. "Well not exactly this minute you will first be placed in partners or on your own, which I have a list o right here." He grabbed a roll of parchment out of his robes and then added, "at the end of this project we will be having a concert for the rest of the school which all of you will be performing at."

Another gasp and some surprised cries were heard from the class.

"Ok now on to the partners, Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Seamus Finigan, Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil," and the list went on. Hermione's name was not on the list however, which ment she would be singing alone.

Over the next few weeks the seventh years wirked non stop on their prijects, perfeting their voices and the lyrics of their songs, all of which were Muggle. Soon it was time to perform for the school in a night concert in the Great Hall.

"Sonorus,"Professor Tilston said with his wand pointed at his throat. "Welcome everyone to the seventh year Muggle Studies Concert!" Everyone in the hall clapped polietly. "And now without further ado I am proud to introduce Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy singing Ass Like That by Eminem!"

Harry and Malfoy walked on to the stage the were in total gangster gear, baggy pants and shrits, major bling and hats turned to the side.

"Hey Malfoy do you think they're ready for this?"

"Potter, hell I'm not ready for this!" The music began to play and they began to sing.

"Ohh Beeby, The way you shake it  
I can't believe it, I ain't never seen an ass like that  
The way you move it, you make my peepee go DOING DOING DOING

I don't believe it, it's almost to good to be true  
I ain't never seen an ass like that  
The way you move it, you make my peepee go DOING DOING DOING

The way she moves, she's like a belly-dancer  
She shakin that ass to the new Nelly jams  
I think someone's at the door but I don't think Imma answer  
Police saying, FREEZE... DOING DOING DOING  
What do you mean freeze? Please I'm a human being  
I have needs, I'm not done, not til I'm finished peeing  
I'm not resisting arrest, I am agreeing Mr. Officer  
I'm already on my knees, I can't get on the ground any further  
It's impossible for me, And do not treat me like a murderer  
I just like to pee, pee, pee, Yes, I make R&B  
I sing song, it Ring-a-Chong-a-Ching-Chong-Chong-Ching  
Syke, I joke I joke, I kid I kid. If offend, I'm sorry  
Please, Please forgive, for I am Triumph, the puppet dog  
I am a mere puppet, I can get away anything I say and you will love it

The way you shake it  
I can't believe it, I ain't never seen an ass like that  
The way you move it, you make my peepee go DOING DOING DOING  
Jessica Simpson, looks oh so tempting  
Nick, I ain't never seen an ass like that  
Every time I see that show on MTV my pee pee goes DOING DOING DOIN

Mary Kate and Ashley used to be so handsome  
Now they getting older, they're starting to grow bum-bums  
I go to the movies and sit down with my popcorn  
Police saying, FREEZE... DOING DOING DOING  
What do you mean freeze? JEEZ I just got my seat  
I have ticket, look I put away, my zipper's zipped  
Please do not remove me from this movie theatre, please  
I did not even get to see Mary Kate's shower scene  
I didn't mean to be obscene or make a great big scene  
And don't treat me like I'm Pee-Wee Herman  
This movie's PG, Mr. Office, I demand to see my attorney  
I will simple plead innocent, cop a plea, and be free  
Free, yes free, right back on the streets  
What you mean my lawyers with Michael, He's too busy?  
I am Triumph, Britney Spears has shoulder's are like man  
And I could say that and you laugh cause there's a puppet on my hand

The way you shake it  
I can't believe it, I ain't never seen an ass like that  
The way you move it, you make my peepee go DOING DOING DOING  
Hilary Duff is not quite old enough so I ain't never seen a butt like that  
Maybe next year I'll say ass and she'll make my peepee go DOING DOING DOING

The way she moves she dances like a GO-GO  
In that video she sings get out your puzzle  
I need a new boyfriend, Hi my name is Jo-Jo  
Police saying, FREEZE... DOING DOING DOING  
What do you mean freeze? My computers will be seized  
And my keys to my ranch. I just bake cookies  
Mr. Officer, lookie, take a woof of this  
Here, I make Jesus juice, take a sip of this  
Nobody is safe from me, no not even me  
I don't even know if I could say the word peepee  
Pee on the radio but I think I did  
Janet is that a breast? I think I just saw a tit  
Syke, I joke I joke, I kid I kid. I don't think my joke is working  
I must flee quick, get to the chopper, everybody get out  
I am not Triumph, I am Aronld, get out

The way you shake it  
I can't believe it, I ain't never seen an ass like that  
The way you move it, you make my peepee go DOING DOING DOING  
So Gwen Stafani will you peepee on me, Please  
I ain't never seen an ass like that  
Cause the way you move it, you make my peepee go DOING DOING DOING!"

The crowd roared with applause and screams as the guys took a bow and waved on their way off stage. "Well that was a quite exciting start now wasn't it? Our next performers will be Ron Weasley and Seamus Finnigan singing We Be Burnin' by Sean Desmond!"

Ron and Seamus walked on stage in of course full gangster rez style clothes, (A/N: I'm sorry if that affends someone but there is a guy in my class who says he is a rez gangster, he is my friend though) and the music started playing they started jumping around the stage and "dancing" with the music.

"Just gimme the gees an we be clubbin yow.  
Gal a make wi please and we be thuggin' now.  
Little hennesy an we'll be bubblin yow.  
Set we mind at ease we got to take it slow.

So when you see the S.p. floatin don't provoke him  
Cause the girls we be poking have to smoking.  
Best thing fi the recreation a fi get the best girls inna every nation.  
All Topper girls we promotin and suportin  
And dem love how we flow king here them shouting  
First class ticket invitation girls from New York, England and Jamaican.

Everyday we be burnin not concernin what nobody wanna say.  
We be earnin dollars turning cause we mind de pon we pay.  
Worth more than gold and oil and diamonds girls we need dem everyday.  
Recognize it, Pimpin as we riding.

Girls them a page me waan fi raise me  
True me write nuff tune and drive them crazy.  
Well I man a true born Jamaican  
Ready fi the girls them inna every situation.

We a the gal dem pro, them know we flow  
With the lyrical content that make them dip low and  
Make the club keep jumpin Turn up the bass make we here when it pumpin.

Summertime bounce to the music people choose it  
Sean da P gal a cruise with... well reputed cause.  
We a the girls them champion,  
Have nuff a them like the great king Solomon.

Many girls inna wi eye sight sexy dress type  
Se them ready fi a hype night Just gimme di light  
An make we blaze it the roof we haffi raise it again

Everyday we be burnin not concernin what nobody wanna say.  
We be earnin dollars turning cause we mind de pon we pay.  
Worth more than gold and oil and diamonds girls we need dem everyday.  
Recognize it, Pimpin as we riding.

So when you see the S.p. floatin don't provoke him  
Cause the girls we be poking have to smoking.  
Best thing fi the recreation a fi get the best girls inna every nation.  
All Topper girls we promotin and suportin  
And dem love how we flow king here them shouting  
First class ticket invitation girls from New York, England and Jamaican.

Everyday we be burnin not concernin what nobody wanna say.  
We be earnin dollars turning cause we mind de pon we pay.  
Worth more than gold and oil and diamonds girls we need dem everyday.  
Recognize it, Pimpin as we riding."

"Later Hogwarts!" Seamus and Ron yelled as they ran off stage and into the crowd. Professor Tilston walked into centre of the stage, and introduced the next few acts and as they went up to perform it got closer and closer to the end of the concert. Finally there was only on person left to sing and that was Hermione Granger.

"Now it is might great pleasure to introduce to you the final act of the night Hermione Granger singing Don't Cha by The Pussycat Dolls!" Hermione timidly walked on stage, she was wearing a mini jean skirt and a black shirt that said 'Devil' in red sparkles. Everyone was amazed at how much she had changed, there were also a few wolf whistles from the guys in the crowd. The music began to play and Hermione just jumped right in, singing her heart out and acting extremely out of the norm. But she was excited, she knew she could do it.

"Oh, baby dolls

I know you like me (I know you like me)  
I know you do (I know you do)  
Thats why whenever I come around shes all over you  
And I know you want it (I know you want it)  
It's easy to see (it's easy to see)  
And in the back of your mind  
I know you should be home with me

Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me   
Dont cha, dont cha  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me  
Dont cha, dont cha

Fight the feeling (fight the feeling)  
Leave it alone (leave it alone)  
Cause if it aint love  
It just aint enough to leave a happy home  
Let's keep it friendly (let's keep it friendly)  
You have to play fair (you have to play fair)  
See, I dont care  
But I know she aint gon' wanna share

Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me  
Dont cha, dont cha , baby  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me  
Dont cha, dont cha

I know I'm on your mind  
I know we'll have a good time  
I'm your friend   
I'm fun  
And I'm fine  
I aint lying  
Look at me, you aint blind 2x

See, I know she loves you (I know she loves you)  
I understand (I understand)  
I'd probably be just as crazy about you  
If you were my own man  
Maybe next lifetime (maybe next lifetime)  
Possibly (possibly)  
Until then, Oh friend your'e secret is safe with me

Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me  
Dont cha, dont cha  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me  
Dont cha, dont cha!"

The crowd went wild, Hermione Granger was ecstatic. Ronald Weasley came out from the crowd and asked Hermione out right after kissing her, to everyones amazement and cheers. They walked off stage hand in hand.

"Thank you everyone for coming tonight, and we will see you in the morning!" Professor Tilston announced to the students in the crowd. Everyone filed out chatting and laughing, everyone went to bed happy that night. The seventh years had also decided Karaoke 101 wasn't that bad.

**A/N: So what did you guys think? Reviews are of course welcome. I know it was kinda random but hey anything that comes out of me brain is!**

**Just A Hermione At Heart**


End file.
